he loves me

Looky what I got! Brian brought these gerbers home for me lastnight as an early Mother's Day treat - UK Mother's Day is this Sunday and evidentally I am getting treated to "Mother's Day Week". I love it!! The flowers are hot pink though they look more purplish. Tonight he walked in with a just-off-the-cooker crepe with Nutella. Yummy!!! The yellow ranunculus are still hanging in there so I had to include them too.

Wanted to say I am feeling much more positive today. Only one more day of no heat AND I am flying out to visit my mom next week. This will be my first trans-Atlantic flight by myself with Kaneu - hopefully it will go well. Thanks for listening to the moaning and groaning!
;)

party's over

FYI: this post involves the "F" word and a lot of whining, moaning and groaning. You've been warned!

I have been having a little pity party for myself. In an effort to pinpoint the cause of this dark cloud that is hovering overhead I came up with the following:

1. No f'ing heat. We have not had heat since Feb 13 - that's 12 days! While this is very annoying, it's certainly not cause for what I am feeling. Though, I have had fantasies about taking out my frustrations on the heating company, and the rude guy who nearly knocked me down in the tube while I was carrying Kaneu, and the rude taxi driver I had yesterday, and Land's End for taking so f'ing long to deliver a set of flannel sheets for Kaneu - don't they know we have no heat?!
2. My mom is ill. She hasn't been feeling well for a few weeks and just learned she has the Shingles. She has some other tests this week - MRI and CAT Scan - to make sure everything else is okay. I do not like it when she gets sick - I end up worrying myself sick, which happened 2 nights ago. I am feeling like I want, should and need to be home in the US right now.
3. I am feeling extremely anxious about the adoptions. This is strange because I haven't felt this way in a very long time. I received an email from our Vietnam agency last week stating that we will likely be getting a referral in Jan 09. Now, this isn't new news and we had guessed the timing would be as such, but when I saw it in writing it felt like a punch to the gut. Why does it have to take so long? I already know the answer but it still doesn't make it an easier pill to swallow.
4. I'm feeling bitter because we were planning on being in sunny and warm South Africa right now (instead of freezing our asses off in our apartment with no heat -0ops, I've already mentioned this). We had to postpone the trip because of work commitments. I know that work=money=living, travelling, eating, etc but I can't help but feel disappointed.
5. I'm homesick. Living this far from family and friends is hard. Travelling home to visit is always good (and tiring) but for me it doesn't cure the homesickness. Our trips home are filled with self-induced obligatory stuff. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make everyone happy - to try to see everybody and not leave anyone out. By the end of the visit we need a vacation. It's pretty ridiculous. In the last year and a half my grandmother and my aunt have passed away. I feel so disconnected as though I am living in a bubble. I am sorry for the rambling and not really making any sense. It's hard to put into words how I feel. I absolutely love living in London but sometimes I really just miss my old life.

As I was trying to get to the bottom of all of this "stuff" I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am not exactly sure what brought it on or where it came from, but in that moment I really needed it. Otherwise, the list would have continued to grow and grow to include items such as "I think I have an ingrown toenail" and "I plucked my own eyebrows - can you say disaster?". I want to now come up with a list of things that I am thankful for. I can't help but think of a book I just reread - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It is memoir written by a man after he suffers a stroke and becomes a victim of "locked-in syndrome". We recently saw the movie, too. Get it, read it, watch it.

The pity party is officially over. Thanks for listening.

love.yellow

I bought these beauties at the flower market last weekend and they are still alive and kicking! I have never had a bunch last so long. I've also never been without heat for this long so perhaps these little ranunculus are thriving because they are cold-loving flowers? Me, not so much.

Sunday was a beautiful and sunny day. We spent the day in Primrose Hill playing at the park, eating lunch and just walking around.

My heat should supposedly be fixed on Fri, as in 4 more days. I seriously want to scream at somebody.

peaceout:)

easier said than done

Little Man on Skis

Here are some videos from our ski trip in France last week. I hate the sound of my voice on videos and if I knew how to edit then I would somehow take it out, but unfortunately I have no skills when it comes to that. I have watched the video of Kaneu skiing so many times and I just cannot get enough of it. I can't wait to take him again!

We are still dealing with no heat! We've had 2 repairmen come and "fix" the problem, however shortly after they leave the damned thing stops working again. Grrr....It's really cold here this week. I could go on and on complaining and moaning, but I am really trying to stay positive.

;)

How Sweet

Today is a sweet day. Brian surprised me with a beautiful bracelet he had personalized. I have been waiting (not so patiently nor graciously) since the summer for this little bauble. I was seriously on the verge of giving it to myself because I wanted it so, but boy am I so thankful that he chose to give it to me for Valentine's. It says "two minds, two hearts, two lives, one love". I love it! We realized that this year was the 13th Valentine's that we have spent together. What a way to make a girl feel old as dirt. Old, but very loved.


This morning we went over to Portabello Road to my favorite sweet spot - The Hummingbird Bakery. We bought a box of cupcakes as we are going to have a little belated birthday celebration for Brian with his mom, who just arrived lastnight. The bakery is so sweet and is full of scrumptious treats. We couldn't help ourselves and also bought this delicious brownie-cheesecake-raspberry-whipped-cream stack. It was to die for. Must hit the gym asap.

Hope you are having a sweet day!!

Favorites

I am in a shopping mood!!! I have come across two great web sites that I must share with you. Our Green House is an inspiring site that has among other things some really cool natural toys. How cute are these flower puzzles? I'm trying to brainstorm who I can buy these for because I love them so.

I also love this wooden utensil set. Whoever comes to visit us next had better make room in their suitcase for these goodies!!

This toy web site has some really great stuff too. I love this puzzle, and am adding it to my, errr, Kaneu's wish list.

Since becoming a parent I have become such a sucker for cool toys. I am really in awe of wooden toys - their simplicity and that they will last generations, their low impact on the environment and that they do not contain toxic materials such as lead and other hazardous things that do not belong in toys. Kaneu has a nice collection of wooden toys and he really loves them - and I love that they can really take a beating, which they do.

I am still working on Kaneu's playroom - trying to create separate spaces for reading, music, art, and kitchen play. It's rather difficult with the set-up of the room. One entire wall is all windows with a nice bench seat the entire length of the room BUT a very hot radiator underneath. So, that wall is really not functional. One corner has my sewing table, and the other corner has our desk with printer on it. It's a multi-functional space and I really need to put my creative hat on to figure out how to make it all work. I am doing research and have found some great sites with interesting and creative ideas - now I just need to figure out how to modify our space to make it easier for Kaneu to focus on whatever activity he is doing. I love how his preschool is set-up - each activity area is simple and open so that the children can access whatever it is they want to play with. Oh, if only our flat was a little bigger. How in the world are we going to fit 2 more babies in here?!

bon jour

We arrived home from our ski trip yesterday and we had the best time. The French Alps are gorgeous and the sun was shining everyday. The village of Megeve was beautiful and quaint - we loved it so much we are already talking of making a return trip before the season ends. Fri was Brian's birthday and the ski trip was really a celebration of his turning 38!!! I found this cute shirt for Kaneu and it seemed too perfect for the momentous occasion! Kaneu took the picture of Brian and I - not too bad!

Kaneu did great in ski school and on the slopes - he loved it. I don't know if there is anything cuter than little kids bundled up in their snowsuits and on skis. I was so proud of our little guy. I have about a zillion photos and some videos to upload, so hopefully I can post more tomorrow. In addition to skiing we also did plenty of sledding, which was equally fun.

Kaneu and I both caught a little bug while we were there, though it didn't seem to slow him down much. You know it's bad when I passed on my spa treatment! As a result of that and some cramping in my feet I only ended up skiing one day. I've gotten the foot/toe cramps for as long as I can remember, but it's only relatively recently that they have come on while I have my ski boots on. Occasionally I get them at night while I am sleeping - and something they are in my calves too. They are REALLY awful and the ones in the calf leave a really sore knot for several days - similar to a Charliehorse. It's strange and is possibly genetic b/c my mom has gotten them for years too. A few weeks ago I began taking a calcium and magnesium supplement in hopes that would help, but it didn't. I also eat a banana a day and that doesn't seem to help either. So, I need to do some research and see what the deal is. I really love skiing and these cramps are "cramping" my style. Haha. I am funny.

So, we arrived home yesterday to our freezer alarm beeping. Why does our freezer have an alarm? Good question! I have absolutely no idea but we cannot seem to turn the darn thing off and the noise is driving me nuts!! We also arrived home to a broken boiler, which means no heat. The landlord is on the case and hopefully both issues will be resolved today. For now we are keeping warm with lots of layers and a small space heater. Brrrrr.

My MIL arrives tomorrow and Ihave about 6 load of laundry and a very dusty apartment to clean. I am still not feeling great and do not have any desire to clean. I wish my fairy Godmother would come and take care of me and the house today. Ugh, I can dream can't I?

Wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy New Year!

Annyong haseyo! Tonight we celebrated Sollal, the Korean New Year. Say hay boke-mahn he pah du say oh! For those of you who do not speak Korean it translates to "Please receive many New year's blessings". Sollal is a day for renewal and a time for recommitment to whatever you feel is important. I am using this celebration to start fresh since I feel as though I've not gotten off to a great start to 2008 in terms of eating healthy and exercising. In addition to recommiting myself to my health I also want to recommit myself to my family. I want to be a more compassionate wife and mother and not get so easily irritated and frustrated by the small stuff. I am so thankful for my guys and I want to exude that everyday.

In honor of the Lunar New Year I cooked a traditional Korean feast including kimchi, scallion pancakes and dduk gook (rice cake soup). Brian says that I cook better Korean than I do any other cuisine! Who knew? Here are some photos of our festivities. We had a great time with Nam Mee, Paul and Abraham, who came by for a visit. Unfortunately they were not able to stay for the feast. Nam Mee taught us some Korean traditions and it was truly a special celebration. It is custom for children to bow to their elders and to give them happy new year wishes (in Korean!). Nam Mee practiced with the boys before our ceremony. The did great - even little Abraham was kneeling with his forehead to the ground. It was too cute. Afterwards the boys received coins and sweets. It is also custom to bang on drums 33 times, which the boys loved, to ward off evil spirits.

Kaneu had a fun time, though I could not get him into his hanbok - he was not having it! I even tried to use chocolate as a bribe - I've actually never done that before and I have such guilt for doing it. It backfired and didn't work, so no photos of Kaneu in his adorable traditional attire that his foster mom gave him. Oh well. We have been practiciting our Korean phrases this week and are learning numbers - he knows 1-5, hello, goodbye, I love you, thank you, sleep, and bread. Just a few of the basics. Ok, well it's getting late here and we have an early morning.

Many New Year's blessings to you!

Help!

I am trying to put together a video slideshow of photos and video clips - has anyone done this? I thought I had photoshop Elements, though it seems it will not open and I've even tried reinstalling, the disc is damaged perhaps. Anyways, I don't even know if Photoshop can do what I need it to so I'm open to try something new. What type of software did you use and is it super user friendly? I'd like to add music too. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
dana

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

I got some really sad news yesterday - my aunt passed away after a 2 month battle with lung cancer. My mom was with her and she went peacefully and that gives me comfort. It's really tough being separated from my family by an ocean during times like these. If you are the praying type please say a prayer for my family. Thank you.

Onto the fun we had over the weekend ...

Fri: Tantrums, Trains and Live Music
On our walk home from school Kaneu decided to throw a tantrum and then refused to walk. I couldn't help but laugh and pull out my camera, which just added to his frustration. I eventually had to carry him home all the while he was kicking and screaming. We were that family ... again. Thankfully after a nice long nap my sweet little guy resurfaced. Fri evening we took the tube to Covent Garden to see a free and live gig by Ben's Brother, who was out supporting the Samaritans on Stress Down Day. Kaneu is such a music fan and when he sees street musicians he is immediately drawn in and wants to watch them play whatever instrument they have. He's a big fan of the drums and guitar, so imagine his delight when we he was standing only a few feet away from the lead vocalist, Jamie, who was playing the guitar. The band was great - I love the lead singer's voice. Check them out - they are a British band and will probably be breaking into the US soon.

After the music we went to dinner at our favorite little chain restaurant, Carluccio's. Two bottles of wine later and my friend Elaine and I were well on our way to feeling terrible on Saturday. After Brian took Kaneu home Elaine introduced me to the South African pub scene. It was not at all different than any bar in my college town - a band playing covers such as "Sweet Home Alablama" and "Brown Eyed Girl", drunk girls dancing and guys playing pool. It felt like home. and was great fun to be out, but let me tell you that Saturday was brutal. Ugh, now I know why I don't go out often.

Sat: Eat, Park, Eat, Market, Eat ...

Saturday was really, really cold BUT it was sunny. Hannah, Ava, Kaneu and I spent the day outside at the park and walking around Primrose Hill and Camdentown. The kiddos had so much fun running around - as did Rosie. She is so happy to get out, though she was cold too, even with her sweater on. We met a little black pug puppy named Sam and he was just the cutest little thing. I can't believe Rosie is 9 years old. It seems like just the other day she was a young pup and I was a young-ish girl in my mid 20's. She is still our baby girl and I still love her so ... even when she keeps me up at night snoring and farting.

After lunch we just happened to walk past the Primrose Bakery, where we found ourselves seated with pots of tea and these sweet little cupcakes. They were almost too pretty to eat. Almost.

We then walked into Camdentown to the Stables Market. We had a specific goal in mind and thankfully our mission was completed. A girl can never have too many bags! We treated ourselves (again!) with a bag of fresh-out-of-the-fryer doughnuts. Yum! Nothing beats a hangover like freshair and food.

Sunday was rather uneventful. We did some shopping in Covent Garden for ski stuff. We leave on Friday for Megeve, France. This will be Kaneu's first ski trip and I cannot wait!! We have him signed up for ski kindergarden for 3-5 yearolds. I think he's gonna be a natural! Here he is in Brian's boots.

xx.dana