5 days down

Wow, we have been home for 5 days. I think we're finally over our jetlag! I'm shocked because it usually takes me SO long but miraculously we are feeling pretty good and getting decent amount of sleep.  

Ruby  She is doing fabulously. We just cannot get over what a happy baby she is - and SO snuggly. We are seeing more and more of her personality coming out. She likes to be tickled and her giggle is really sweet and funny.  She squeals when she is happy. She gives kisses and zerberts. She has signed "more". She points at photos (of us, kaneu, seals, boats, whatever) and says the same thing ... "ma!". When she sees photos of herself she gets the biggest smile on her face. Her favorite thing to do is pull all the books off the bookshelf.  

Schedule We think she's beginning to get on one!!  She has been taking a morning nap around 9 or 10 and then again in the afternoon . Last night she slept from 6:30pm to 4:30am. We were so happy!! She slept right through her night feeding.  She sleeping really well, I think partly because she is getting over the jetlag but also because she is eating more. Brian made a batch of the rice porridge that Mrs Kim was preparing for her and she loves it. I am going to make another batch and try adding some more veggies. She also likes rice cereal with applesauce, yogurt, bread, cheese, bananas and avocado. 

Sleep She is sleeping in our bed with us. It's going well so far but we are trying to decide what to do long term. In Korea she slept on the floor with her foster mother.  We had originally planned on she and Kaneu sharing a room. Our plan involved us initially sleeping on the floor with her in their room and gradually moving her into her crib while we still sleep on the floor next to her. This is what we did with Kaneu and it was a pretty easy transition and did not take long until he was sleeping on his own.  We are worried about disrupting Kaneu's sleep and he is SUCH a great sleeper and I really don't want to ruin that. We are now considering moving her crib into our room and eventually transitioning her to the crib when she's ready. Plan B involves her staying in our room until we move back to London. The only thing I worry about with this plan is how the transition will go once we move because then she'll have her own room. Our room in London is very small and there is no space for her crib. Ugh.  Any thoughts, suggestions?  Am I over thinking this - is this a no brainer??  I put her in the crib yesterday for a few minutes while I was putting her laundry away. She seemed fine playing in there. I think we'll probably do this more to try to slowly introduce the concept to her. 

Dislikes She does not like to be dressed. She gets really squirmy especially when putting her shirts on. She gets frustrated - especially if the shirt is snug, which some of hers have been because she's a big girl!  She has large hands - about the same size as Kaneu's - and so they get stuck at the end of the shirt. Poor thing gets fired up when we can't get her little thumb to fit through.  Diaper changes aren't on her list of faves either. Sometimes (like when she's asleep) she's really good, but then other times she is twisting onto her stomach and crawling away with half of a dirty diaper trailing behind her. She is really strong and so I have a hard time using my one free arm to keep her down. Sometimes changing a really dirty diaper becomes a 2-man job, if ya know what I mean.

Getting Out We took her to the mall today and got her feet measured for new shoes. She is a 5.5 wide!!  The shopgirl strongly suggested we get her the little white baby walking shoes/boots. They are not nearly as cute as some of the shoes I was hoping to get her, but she is a new walker and needs the ankle support. The shoes are very orthopedic looking and Brian was horrified that I agreed to buy them.  What are ya gonna do, right? Oh well, she still looks ridiculously cute in them. We were also in Pottery B*rn Kids and she and Kaneu had so much fun playing. They really have some cute stuff and I eyed a little Lucy dolly that I'd like to get for her, maybe for Christmas.  Kaneu loves the kitchen play area and said to me as we were leaving "momma, I really love the kitchen".  Seeing as our current home is very small and we are heading back to London in June, there is no chance of getting him any toys that take up that much space. Instead, I think we're going to be spending a LOT of time at the mall. 

Firsts

* meeting mamaw & papa

* playing with godbrothers

* shoe shopping

* tarjay

* frenchfries

I have a ton of photos from the past few days but I haven't gotten to uploading them just yet. I took these on Monday during what I thought was going to be naptime ... but Rub thought otherwise. It turned out she just wanted to play and explore.

I cannot believe that tomorrow is Thanksgiving! For so long I've been solely focused on one thing - traveling to Korea. We are finally home and our family is complete and I am reminded that I have so much to be thankful for. And I am.

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksiving!

xo

home!

We made it! It is so good to be home. 

The kids did really great on the flight. Ruby was a star. She only cried during takeoff and landing. We landed at JFK on Sat at 11am (11pm in Korea) and both kids were tired but great and not fussy at all. We were at JFK for 4 hours and then flew to Virginia. They both passed out on that flight. No problems at all. We had a really sweet homecoming and were greeted by friends and family at the airport. Our little family is so loved and we are so thankful.

When we got home from the airport Kaneu was SO excited to be home. Ruby was curious but not really wanting us to let her out of arms reach. We played for a little while and were all in bed by 7:30pm. She slept in our bed with us and I can't tell you how nice it was to be back in our bed. She slept well and we all woke up 1am. We were up for a few hours and then went back to bed, again no problems at all. She's really snuggly and I just love it. It's pretty easy to get her to sleep because she just wants to be snuggled. If she wakes up at all we just pat her on the back and pop the plug back in her mouth. She is SUCH a sweet baby. She is super cuddly and really laid back.

Operation Monkey  ... Kaneu's little stuffed animal that he has had forever and that has travelled with us EVERYWHERE ... was left on the plane when we got off at JFK. We were so bleary-eyed and exhausted that we didn't do a very good job of checking for things on the floor, under blankets, etc. Kaneu was crushed when we realized it. He sobbed at bedtime and was crying "monkey!!" when he was going to sleep. It was really, really sad. We told him that monkey was just being cheeky and that he must have hid on the plane because he wasn't ready for the adventure to be over. He slept with Ruby's pink monkey and a few other "friends". Sunday morning Brian was on the case and got a back-up monkey asap. Thankfully our Godson, Simon, has the SAME exact monkey and so the catastrophe was averted.  We put him on the front porch with a postcard explaining that he wasn't ready to leave Korea because it was such a special place. He was thrilled to have him back.

Here are some pictures from our last day in Seoul and a few taken since we've been home. I will post an update on Ruby soon. She is doing so many cute and funny things and I want to capture them all. Hopefully will get to that tomorrow. For now, must sleep!

she has the cutest hand gestures - we see this one a lot

getting ready for bed

out to lunch - ruby is eyeing the fries!!

at the aquarium

at jfk


sleepy heads


notice kaneu's watch? his gift for being superman on the flight

pretending to talk on the phone

day 2

I have been dying to sit in front of the computer but life is VERY different now.  Not nearly as much free time.  This little lady is such a beautiful addition to our family. I don't know what Brian or I ever did to deserve these babies of ours but we are blessed beyond my comprehension.  My heart has exploded with love for Ruby and I can see the same has happened to Brian and Kaneu. She is such a gift to us. We love her more than words can describe.

Yesterday was tough. She refused her first bottle which really had me worried.  She was just so sad and I felt completely helpless. It's hard not knowing how to soothe your baby. Thankfully ate well the remainder of the day. She LOVES Brian and would not keep her eyes off of him. If he walked out of the room she would get upset and if I was holding her and he was close she would reach out for him. She is a daddy's girl 100%.  She napped 3 times. The poor girl was wiped out. We had some bright moments where she was smiling, playing and even giggling. She LOVED the bath. She was splashing and having a great time. Last evening she was really upset and inconsolable. We tried holding her, swaying w/her, singing, walking, putting her in the carrier, in the back carrier and doing the electric slide. Hey, we were desperate!!  Finally Brian had the touch and she fell asleep.  What we learned is that she likes to be held really, really tightly. It's painful on the back, neck and shoulders and we may likely be seeing a chiropractor really soon BUT it really works. As for the sleeping arrangements ... we just assumed that the sleep situation would go down the same as with Kaneu - she would sleep in between us in our bed. Big.Fat.No.  She woke up everytime we tried to move her and does not like the bed. At.All. So, then we moved onto Plan B, which was sleeping on the floor in the living room. Can I just tell you how happy we are to be in a suite??  Plan B worked like a charm and Ruby slept all night until her 3 am bottle. She then went back to sleep and slept until 8:30!  She woke a few times but we just patted her on the back and she fell back to sleep quickly. She's a star.

Kaneu has been awesome with Ruby. In the bath he loves to help wash her. She is a big girl and is a little rough - especially with "monkey". He's being really understanding and the first thing he said to Brian this morning when he woke up was "how's Ruby?". Has taught her how to brush her teeth and she really likes it. Fruity toothpaste? What's not to like. She'll let me hold the toothbrush and clean her little teeth and gums though. It's really sweet because she's just watching big brother the whole time. He suggested we give her some Cheerios today and little miss LOVED them. Addicted. He wants to carry her on his back. They both crack up. See the pictures below.

Ruby is growing more and more comfortable here with her new family. She knows who we are. Called me "umma" tonight. I came and sat next to her on the floor and she crawled over on top of me and said (with a big grin) "umma".  She's scrumptious!! Loves to use her index finger to point. Is a total chunk. I love her body and could not wait to get her undressed to see what the chunks look like. I've been taking her clothes off when we're the room so I can see those legs. Claps when she is happy. LOVES raspberries/zerberts. Likes to share her food with us. Has become a big fan of the "plug" (pacifier) thanks to Brian. Makes great eye contact. Tonight during her bottle she actually let go and let me feed her. The eye contact and feeding are HUGE strides in the attachment process.  Is not a big fan of peek-a-boo. Wants Kaneu's snacks (Annie's honey bunnies)and I can see some major battles being had in the future. Has BIG feet - a tiny bit smaller than Kaneu's (size 8.5). Is likely fitting into 18-month clothes. Several of the pajamas I brought for her are 6-12 months from Gymboree and they are WAY too small.  Her 12 month pants today were borderline capris. This is really unfortunate because most of her clothes are 12 months so I'll be needing to go shopping asap. Shame.

Today we went to the aquarium. We wanted to do something fun for Kaneu since he's been so great on this trip. He had a good time and Ruby slept while we were there. Afterwards we had our 2nd meal in a restaurant since we've been here - and our first meal out with Ruby. My appetite is still not really back but I did feel a little bit hungry. Ruby did great at the restaurant and we learned she can drink from a straw. She also likes rolls. 

Tomorrow we fly home. I can't believe this trip has come to an end. I am sad to leave Seoul. I wish we had more time to spend here but we are ready. Ready to be out of this hotel room. Ready to be in the comforts of our own (rental/temporary) home. Ready to learn and love more of this beautiful girl we get to call our daughter. 

buying kaneu mittens

Thanks for all of your comments and emails. We have loved reading all of them. We are feeling the love and are so thankful. We'll post again once we're home.  xoxo

yes, we made it!!

OK, what a day!! A sweet, sorrowful and special day that I will replay in my mind countless times I am sure. 

Yesterday morning seems like ages ago. I'm gonna try to recount the moments leading up until now.

I was SO nervous. I actually felt nauseous and was worried that the flu wasn't quite gone, but realized that it was butterflies instead. I just couldn't believe that this day had actually come. It has been a really long journey and many moments filled with disappointment, frustration, anger, exhaustion and even defeat.  Though on our walk to SWS I couldn't remember any of those things. My heart was so full of joy I was almost skipping down the sidewalk. Along the ways we stopped and took a photo of the 3 of us on a bench - the same one Brian and I sat on 3 years ago on our way to receive Kaneu. I can't tell you how incredible it is to experience all of this over again AND with him. I really hope he remembers these moments or at least that this experience will help him understand his own story of how we became a forever family. 

When we arrived at SWS Mrs Kim and Ruby were waiting downstairs for Ruby's medical exam. Mrs Kim motioned us over and so we all entered the very small exam room with her. The exam took all of about 30 seconds (she's in great health!) then it was time to head up to the 7th floor. Unfortunately the (very small) elevator was either out of order or just busy, so we walked. Mrs Bang, our social worker ushered us into one of the private rooms where she proceeded to give us bags of "stuff" for Ruby (diapers, formula, bottles, clothes, more gifts). She also reviewed her sleeping and feeding schedule and handed over all of her immigration paperwork, passport and visa. Her sleep schedule is this: wakes at 6 am, goes to bed at 11pm and takes 2 10-minute naps (oh dear!). Mrs Kim made some rice porridge for her and so we got that as well. We were all sitting in this very small room together, on the floor. Kaneu was snapping away with his camera and Suh-hyun was snacking on biscuits. It all went by really really quickly and the next thing we knew Mrs Bang was telling us that we would be saying goodbye to Mrs Kim in front of the elevator. So out we go, put our shoes back on and we're standing in front of the elevator. This is where I realize I'm gonna lose it. I picked up Ruby and turned to Mrs Kim and my eyes were spilling with tears. I don't remember exactly what I said to her but I'm certain it wasn't English or Korean. I also hugged her, which I believe may be faux pas but I really wanted to hug her and so I did. I stepped onto the elevator with Kaneu and Mrs Bang and then watched Brian do the exact same thing that I had done with Mrs Kim.  She held out her hand to him and he took her in for a bear hug. When I saw that Mrs Kim was crying too I then shifted into the muffled quiet sob. Mrs Bang didn't quite know what to do with us. Meanwhile Ruby is totally chilled out. When we got off of the elevator I could barely even see the tears were spilling out of my eyes. Mrs Bang walked us outside and I think we said goodbye, I don't exactly remember.  At that point I couldn't hold the quiet sob in and I had to let it out. Brian had Kaneu in his arms and he pulled us in close and said a prayer, during which I sobbed. Again, Ruby was quiet and calm. She ended up falling asleep just as we got to the hotel so once we got into our room I sat with her on the bed until she woke up, about 30 minutes. I was expecting her to be upset when she woke and she was. She cried and then screamed. The girl has got some very healthy lungs!  

We spent the next hour or so trying to console her. She cried, a loud and guttural cry. It's a heartwrenching cry and one that I think we'll hear quite a lot of while she's grieving. I put her in the carrier on my back and we all went for a walk around the hotel. That seemed to calm her down. When we got back we realized it was snowing outside! As we were all peering out the window little miss gave us a few smiles. Perhaps it was the vanilla teething biscuit in her hand, but she was giggling at Kaneu and he LOVED that he could make her smile. 

More details of how the rest of the day/night went soon.

on our walk to sws

watching the snow fall




photos by kaneu

Little miss just woke up and it's 8:30am!! She's a star and we love her SO much. More later. xo

it ain't easy bloggin' with 2

I think Dana is somewhere in the middle of a long blog with lots of pictures detailing yesterday’s action, but since it’s now morning for me and things are still quiet and dark I thought I’d throw down a few words.

The bottom line for Dana, Kaneu and I is that we have quickly fallen deeply in love with our new daughter and little sister. She’s emotional, engaging, lovable, cuddable, sweet and full of chunks everywhere.

I think the bottom line for little Ruby Suh is that she is falling equally in love with her new family but is a little taken aback by the fact that we: look different, sound different, smell different, and act different than her umma and appa. The toys are different, the food is different, the bedding is different, the lighting is different, etc. She’s probably also disappointed, as I would be, to realize that she’ll be living in a hotel from this point on! Jeez, if she only knew what was coming tomorrow!

I want to save the details for Dana’s post but for now just wanted you to know that we’ve made it through the night without much difficulty, and are thrilled at the thought of getting to spend another day with her!

family of 4

Hey everyone, things are pretty exciting here. Just a quick line for those of you who may still be awake (or getting up intermittently throughout the night to check the blog). We've been back at the hotel for 3 hours with Ruby and she is doing great - sleeping now in Brian's arms after her bottle ... snoring away. Will post the details soon. Thank you for all of your comments, emails, thoughts and prayers. We definitely felt them!!

xoxo

"i'm ready"

That's what Kaneu has just told me as he is stuffing his face with orange juice and pringles.  He is ready to get his little sis! 

A little bit ago Kaneu and I were again discussing how Ruby may be upset when we bring her to the hotel. I asked him what we could do to help comfort her. Here's what he said we

"give her kisses"
"hug her"
"snuggles"
"snacks" (he goes to the snack suitcase and pulls out a box of teething biscuits
"pink monkey"

"her picture book" (referring to the photo book Mrs Kim gave us)

I think this is a good start. And I know he's going to be a very loving big brother.

soon

Well, it's 6:30am and we've got 4.5 hours to go before our family is complete. Wow. I cannot believe it. Just a little while ago Kaneu said to me "I want to get Ruby now". You and me both!  I am really hoping and praying that Kaneu will remain happy and excited about her once she is actually with us.  I do expect some bumps in the road, though.  I mean, he's not that perfect!

Lastnight while we were getting ready for bed I was explaining to him that Ruby may be upset and sad for a little while because she doesn't know us and that she will miss her foster family.  He got really quiet after that and it made me wonder what he remembers from his first 11 months here in Korea. Maybe he doesn't remember anything at all, but I actually don't believe that's the case.   Perhaps just having that conversation conjured up feelings that he has that he hasn't yet vocalized. I want to be sensitive to this and think we can take more opportunities to talk with him about all that is happening. Parenthood is so complicated.  I was also talking with Kaneu about all of the things I was looking forward to once Ruby was here and he had some things to add. Here is what he wants to teach her:

• to drink milk
• to sign (he then proceeded to sign "more", "hurt", "eat", "all done"

I can't believe it's been 3 years and 4 months (to the day tomorrow) that we were here meeting Kaneu for the first time. What a blessed family we are. I have never felt more thankful.

june 27, 2006

we stopped into this shop to purchase a baby carrier on our walk to receive kaneu

mom and dad ... by kaneu 

(mom IS feeling much better, but this photo says otherwise)

is it just me or does kaneu resemble a teenager?


warming up inside starby's

Next time we post we'll be a family of 4!!